Rosario plus Jashin
by Pyromania101
Summary: The Exorcist "hires" a homicidal, masochistic religious nut to guard Youkai Academy!  The rest writes itself  well, not really.  Pairings undecided.  Rated M for near-constant swearing, and probably other things, too. UP FOR ADOPTION!


**Enter the Immortal **

_I don't own Naruto or Rosario+Vampire._

"I can't fucking believe this," the boy muttered as he looked out the window of the somewhat rundown school bus he was currently riding in. "One minute I'm sacrificing some blasphemers to Lord Jashin, and now I'm going to fucking school!" He sighed and sat back, muttering obscenities under his breath. The boy, a relatively tall sixteen-year old boy with chocolate-brown hair, purple-pink eyes, and a slightly muscular body, was not in one of his good moods. How could he be? He didn't want to go to some thrice-damned school, and now, here he was, on his way to one.

Next to the boy was a black travel bag that, if one were to inspect it closely, was probably filled to the brim with something. If one were to look at the boy himself, and not be totally spooked by the color of (and rather insane look in) his eyes, then that person would notice the amulet necklace wrapped around his neck. The necklace was made up of gray, maybe silver beads, while the amulet itself was circular with a regular triangle in the middle. Speaking of that, the boy suddenly grabbed it and held it against his forehead, muttering some sort of prayer as the bus was driven to its destination.

"Is something the matter, Mr. Tsukune?" a low voice asked, snapping the boy, apparently named Tsukune, out of his trance, or whatever the hell it was. Tsukune glared at the front of the bus, where the driver, a mustached man wearing a standard bus driver and smoking a cigar, and of course doing his job.

"Yeah," he said coldly. "You interrupted my prayer to Lord Jashin, you damn pussy."

The bus driver chuckled to himself. He had read about this whole Jashin thing a while back, and quite frankly, he believed that not even a fool would turn to it. Yet, here was someone who did: this boy, Tsukune, had done just that after his beloved family had been murdered by the Yakuza under the false belief that they had vital information that could get most of those tattoo-wearing bastards locked up forever. When the truth came out, they burned his home, only to find out that he had survived, so they went on a hunt for him.

It was during this time on the run from the Yakuza that the twelve-year old Tsukune suddenly stumbled upon that barbaric religion. He quickly became enamored with it, and soon, he had developed a way to use it to avenge his family.

(Flashback Start)

"_Ya got nowhere left to run, brat," the Yakuza thug sneered as he pointed his gun at the boy he had been chasing for the last hour. The kid had given him and his buddies a long chase, but it had finally ended when they trapped him in an old warehouse. It was perfect: there wouldn't be any witnesses. The boy was standing in what appeared to be a diagram. It was circular in shape and had a large triangle in the middle. It was red and had a rather unpleasant scent. The thug realized that it was blood. That was strange, but he didn't really pay it much mind: killing the brat was his priority right now. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the brat, to the thug's slight surprise, started laughing. "What's so fucking funny?" he snarled, getting ready to pull the trigger._

"_You are, you fucking fool," Tsukune cackled. "I led you and your pansy-ass buddies in here on purpose, so that no one could see me sacrifice you to Lord Jashin!"_

"_Lord Jashin?" the thug laughed. "That's bullshit, kid!" He then moved to pull the trigger when, all of a sudden, the boy pulled out a long, thin cylinder of sorts. Before the thug could register what was about to happen, Tsukune pushed a button on the bottom of the cylinder, and it extended into a spear. Quickly regaining his thoughts, he pulled the trigger. He smiled sadistically as he saw a bullet hole appear on the boy's chest, but that smile disappeared when the boy did not collapse. In fact, the bullet did not seem to do anything at all. "W-what the fuck—?"_

_But Tsukune was already moving forward. With a swipe of what the thug now knew was a retractable spear, he cut a small gash in the thug's right arm, causing aforementioned thug to drop the gun. The thug swore, but his demeanor went from angry to confused as the boy licked the blood of the spear and leapt back into the diagram. He watched with something akin to fascination as the boy's appearance changed. His skin, or the parts of it that could be seen at least, turned pitch-black, though there were a few bits of white. His face now looked more like a skull, with bits of black here and there. Overall, the boy now had a Grim Reaper-like appearance._

_The thug and his buddies were now absolutely perplexed. Just what the hell was going on?_

"_Now," Tsukune said morbidly. "I can offer you heathens to Lord Jashin!" He raised the spear and, to the bewilderment of the Yakuza, thrust it into his chest. Was the boy insane? But before any of them could openly express their confusion, the thug whom Tsukune had cut suddenly pitched forward, blood dripping out from his chest. He fell to the ground, and it didn't take a genius to realize that he was dead._

_Tsukune gave the remaining Yakuza a psychotic, sadistic grin. "That hit the spot," he said in an almost dreamy voice. He then pulled the spear out of his chest. When he didn't show any signs of agony as he did this, the remaining thugs knew that something really, really freaky was going on. Tsukune pointed the sharp end of the spear at them. "All right, who's next?" he asked, not really caring which one of these blasphemers came first. They would all die for their sins against Jashin anyway._

_If anyone had actually walked within about ten, maybe twenty, yards of that warehouse, they would have heard the following sounds: gunshots, maniacal laughter, screaming, then…silence. Unfortunately, nobody came, and Tsukune, to his delight, was able to commit this massacre unimpeded by meddling civilians or the authorities. Following its conclusion, he lay down in the center of the diagram, and pierced the center of his chest with that spear. He then looked up, almost in a gawking manner, as a prayer of thanks to Lord Jashin for granting him this magnificent power, and as a hope that today's sacrifices had satisfied Lord Jashin's lust for blood for the moment. A calm breeze greeted him, a signal to Tsukune that Lord Jashin was indeed satisfied. _

(Flashback End)

Since then, Tsukune Aono—now just Tsukune, due to having shed his surname—had been on the run, killing various people with that barbaric ritual of his. The fact that he was able to avoid the authorities was nothing short of amazing. Perhaps it had to do with that diagram he always drew: the amount of blood it would take to draw that symbol in the ground would certainly cause the unlucky victim to eventually die from blood loss, which had helped throw the police off his trail. Yet the blood test results all said that the blood was his. The authorities had been utterly perplexed. Just what the hell was going on? Eventually, the case, with no real trail to follow, went cold, but the terror went on for a grand total of three years and nine months before that fateful night. Tsukune remembered it all too well, and it filled him with anger.

(Flashback Start)

_Tsukune had just finished killing another group of heathens who had had the nerve to try to steal his food. He had, as usual, taken a sadistic pleasure in making him suffer. The damn cops had been called when the corpses were discovered, but he knew that they wouldn't catch him. They had failed to do that for almost four years, and they weren't about to succeed any time soon. Even if they did see him and start going for their pistols, he'd just punish them for their blasphemy by sacrificing them to Lord Jashin. That's how it always was for anyone who dared to insult his god._

_All too soon, the sounds of police sirens filled the air, and he quickly moved into a dark alley. He may have been bulletproof thanks to the powers given to him by Lord Jashin, but he also knew better than to conduct his ritual in a place where the sheer numbers of his foes may possibly be enough to hold him down. Even if he didn't die, he didn't want to go to wherever the hell they might send him if they caught him. If that happened, he wouldn't be able to provide Lord Jashin with the sacrificed he so richly deserved. Lord Jashin would understand, he was absolutely sure of it._

_As he ducked into the alley, he suddenly became aware that someone was watching him. Quickly, he pulled out a cylinder (by now, he had more than one) and it became a spear when he pushed the button. He brandished it around, casting a glance here and there to see if he could spot whoever was spying on him. "Come on out!" he snarled. "I know you're watching me, and if you don't come out, I'll tear your fucking ass apart when I find you!" Truthfully, he was going to do that anyway, but what'd be the point of letting whoever was watching him know that? Before he could say anything else, he heard a low chuckle from behind him._

_He spun around; ready to lash out at whoever the hell this was and sacrifice him/her to Lord Jashin, but what greeted his insane eyes was perplexing to say the least. Standing before him, with a look of something akin to amusement on his face, was a man dressed in white priest robes, making Tsukune think that he was some sort of exorcist. He had glowing eyes, which was somewhat creepy, but Tsukune had faced his fair share of scary things while he had been on the run, so he shouldn't have been all that scared. Yet, the sight before him was, for lack of better terms, unsettling._

"_What the fuck do you want?" Tsukune demanded, pointing his spear threateningly at the man. The man did not show the slightest sign of fear at the weapon, still wearing an expression of amusement._

"_You've got quite a colorful tongue," he said in a creepy voice, his amused expression turning into an unnerving grin._

_Tsukune moved forward to stab him, but the man calmly muttered something, and, all of a sudden, he couldn't move. "What the fuck is this?" he shouted. "What'd you do to me, you bastard?" _

"_To offer you an enrollment at my school," the man said calmly, not the least bit unnerved by Tsukune's foul mouth._

"_And why the fuck would I wanna go to some Jashin-damned school?" Tsukune snarled, trying to break free of whatever the hell was preventing him from moving, with no success._

"_Because I could grant you asylum from the authorities," the man replied. "I know that your little…ritual has put you in somewhat of a bind—"_

"_Bind nothing; they don't know it's me!" Tsukune interrupted, giving the man a scathing look while still futilely struggling against his bonds._

"_But they will eventually," the man replied._

_Tsukune was really losing his patience, not that he ever had any to begin with. The man clearly detected this, so he added, "You would basically be something of a security guard. Anyone who tries to attack the school or disrupt its purpose would be fair game for you." Tsukune's hateful glare softened by a fractional amount when he heard this. This man was giving him permission to kill? There had to be something behind this._

"_What's the catch?" he asked._

"_You can't go around killing indiscriminately: you can only attack those who pose a real threat to the school."_

"_How do you know I won't just kill someone and make up a reason?" Tsukune was starting to feel weird. Was he really considering the man's offer?_

"_I have ways of watching people," was the man's mysterious answer, though the way he said it made it sound as though Tsukune had asked a rhetorical question._

"_Do I have to make it clean?" Yep, it was official: he was considering the man's offer. After all, here was a chance to kill in the name of Lord Jashin and not have to risk facing any kind of annoying chiding for his "crimes."_

"_No, you have free reign to perform that ritual of yours, as long as you don't cut off any of your limbs." Right, like he would do something like that._

_Tsukune was silent for a moment, never taking his eyes off the man. What did he have to lose? If sacrificing heathens to Lord Jashin meant being forced to "work" at a school, then it was probably worth the trouble. "All right, ya old fart, I'll take this job."_

"_Excellent," the man said, clearly pleased. "The term starts in a week. You'll have that much time to prepare for the school year." He then handed Tsukune a piece of paper. "I've written down the location of the bus stop and the time you're supposed to be there. You'd better not be late, or it'll leave without you, and that would be quite a shame."_

(Flashback End)

And now, he was riding this damned bus to the man's school. After that meeting, he had gone back to his hideout **(which is a secret hidden from everybody, even the author of this story)** and had gotten his other equipment that he had accumulated over his four-year reign of terror. He had various weapons in his possession, most of them stolen or taken from the corpses of the heathens whom he had punished: knives, more retractable spears, and a large scythe that he had modified to have a second blade and a long cord that could be strapped to his arm (which were meant to extend his attack range). What made the scythe even better was that he had modified it to where he could split it apart into sections (or pieces, as one might call them), thus allowing him to easily transport it in a normal backpack, and yet he could re-attach the parts with ease and it would still look like it wasn't…"breakable" as some would call it.

The bag he had with him was larger than a backpack, so it was easier for him to fit his scythe's pieces in there, along with many knives and at least four retractable spears. He may have been what some would call a raving lunatic, but he sure as hell knew how to be prepared for battle. He sighed: though he knew he had accepted the job offer the man, who had introduced himself as "The Exorcist" after Tsukune had accepted his offer, he still didn't like it. Jashinists just weren't really built for working as bodyguards. They were only good at killing, and the Exorcist knew how to exploit that, from what Tsukune could see.

Still, not being able to kill indiscriminately would be torture for Tsukune, but for some reason, he could tell that the Exorcist posed a real threat, and as such, it was probably not a very good idea to attack him. Now that he thought about it, the Exorcist probably could have incapacitated him if Tsukune had actually gone through with his planned attack. As he pondered his situation, the bus suddenly came to a stop. He hadn't been paying attention to what was outside the window, so he could not have noticed that the bus had gone through some sort of portal, or that he was now in a very different realm.

"We're here," the bus driver said casually, then pushed a button that caused the bus door to open. "Get your stuff and get off."

"Aw'right, ya stupid fucker, I'm goin'," Tsukune snapped, grabbing his bag and walking toward the bus door.

"By the way, kid," the bus driver said as Tsukune got off, causing him to halt, "you'd better watch yourself. This academy can be a very _scary_ place." If such a thing was possible, his grin only got wider.

Tsukune was slightly put off by the grin, but he refused to be intimidated. "Fuck you, asshole," he replied. "No damn school is gonna scare me." He then got off and started to walk away.

The bus driver's grin did not diminish. "We'll see, kid," he said to himself. "We'll see." He then closed the bus door and drove off.

**To Be Continued…**

_Well, what do you think? Was this a good starter? I apologize for the OC thing I mentioned. In my opinion, though, this character pretty much is an OC, just with the original character's name. My reason for ending the chapter when I did is because I want to see what people think of this story before I really get into it. Anyway, please read and review._


End file.
